Day 2

so...a work colleague and friend just posted this on my fb page.

to be fair it is refering to something i said on 3 july BUT the point is still the same.  and while it is funny now and easy to laugh about, it is still worth examining HOW another person or people can have that much influence on my emotional state.  there are not many things i can control but i certainly should be able to control my emotions and the words i use to express them!

the thing is i am not really angry.  i am hurt. and sometimes it feels like all my feelings have spilled onto the floor and i can never gather them up in time to keep them from getting stomped on.  it makes me so...vulnerable to say "i am really hurting because of A but i am reacting to B because i don't know how to deal with the hurt."   especially when the hurt is lingering.

today's i decided to recognize this.  the challenge is to say it when i feel my emotions starting to spill out, even if i only say it to myself.  if i acknowledge the part of me that is hurting perhaps i can deal with the hurt instead of masking it with anger?  

cause when i am not angry it is waaaay easier to be awesome.